Matching Outfits...

As a child my parents forced my sister and I to wear a number of matching outfits.  I am not sure why my parents and parents around the world think this is a cute look.  Lets be honest, no one wants to see two awkward Jewish kids in matching outfits.  I remember a sweater number that said- "Sister" and "Brother", a neon look-my sister completed it with neon earrings and a t-shirt and red short combo that made its way on our family holiday card.  Luckily, by the time my sister and I were in middle school, we were free of the Brady Bunch inspired looks.

Now my parents on the other hand never did grow out of the matching looks.  I guess when you grow old, you think its cute to match your partner of 25 or so years.  Now it was no secret that my mother dressed my father.  His holidays were sprinkled with ties and shirts (complete with the tags on all articles of clothing to show how the item was originally $130 marked down to $25). Who doesnt want to see the exact price of the gift that they are getting?  

I was fortunate enough to attend sleep away camp in Maine.  For those that are not familiar, camp is a place where your basic responsibilities are waking up and going to water-skiing and pottery.  It was tough.  On Visiting Day, everyones parents came to camp to see a terrible dance performance and look at all the crappy arts and crafts that would soon make there way into the cabinets and drawers of the campers homes.  Who wouldnt want an indian tribal mask made out of clay and straw in their living room?  The camp that I went to attracted a wide variety of campers; there were the Russians who stole and put our gaming systems in a bag in the woods, the Upper East Siders whos fathers worked at Kraft ( I later found out he was the president- and fly into camp in a helicopter) to your everyday normal kids, like me.  

Waiting at the gates of the camp, the parents poured in- and then I saw my parents....Now I dont have anything against the blueberry, but I have a problem when they are on my parents matching shirts.  Oh yes, my parents choose to wear matching blueberry shirts to my camp visiting day.  My mother, like my sister had years before, completed her look with matching blueberry earrings.  I think I felt badly for my father- here was an accomplished man wearing a shirt covered in little blue fruits.

Twelve years later and my parents still did not learn their lesson.  The matching outfits returned at a University of Maryland's Parents Weekend.  As part of the weekend's festivities, my fraternity had a parents brunch.  After cleaning the beer cans, condoms and drug related items from the previous nights festivities, we were about to entertain 150 parents and convince them that we were becoming better men with their dues used to pay for cheap beer.  My parents felt it necessary to wear matching UMD Sweatshirts and black pants.  Now, I understand their school spirit- my father was paying over 100K for my education and well my mom was proud that I was in school (not that there was another option).  I was mortified.  It was like I was the first Friedman to go to college (I am not.)  

Its funny how I find myself unexpectedly  wearing matching outfits when I go out in Chelsea.  It seems as though American Apparel's deep V-neck is the new outfit for this neighborhood.  I guess this look is better than a sweater that says "Brother" on the front.

Clean it up kids,

Dan