Jewish Geography...

There is a game that is more popular than Monopoly or Scrabble, its a game that requires few skills, it is the game of Jewish Geography.  From the UES to the great public universities across the U.S, jappy jews are connecting, as if to form an army of the Star of David.  I must admit, I am a big player in the game.  

The beauty of Jewish Geography, is that there is never a winner.  Here are the rules, you are introduced to a fellow Jew.  Step two, you ask background information- where they grew up, what camp they went to and college they attended.  Step three, you offer your information (even if not asked). This is done to assure the other player that you are well qualified as a worthy opponent. Step four- try to shot off as many Jews as you can and see how many people you know in common.

Sounds simple, but there are some bonus points to be had: any horrible gossip about the person (drug, abortion, family lost all of there money and engagements) are big point earners. Other point earners, mentioning teen tour (Musiker's Summer Discovery, Rein Teen Tours) or country clubs that you visit while seeing Grandma and Grandpa in Boca.  On a side note, the only thing I learned at Musiker Summer Discovery UCLA was that it is very easy to fail a college course.  In hindsight, no 16-year-old should be left alone for two-months in California unsupervised.  These key words demonstrate how well connected you are to the Murray Hill lifeline.  

You can also lose points: be wary of who you are talking about, I have been caught in the situation where its been the persons best friend/ex.  Not a comfortable predicament.  And finally, be sure you know the first and last name of the person in question- Friedman, Levine or Adam and Jessica will not help you in this game.  Chances are there are more than one "Adam" at University of Michigan.  This will most certainly end the game.

Armed with these simple rules, you too will be successful in playing Jewish Geography.  I wish you luck- so put on your trendiest outfit, your limited-edition Nike's and head to your nearest Brother Jimmy's, Games on, bitches.

Clean it up kids,

Dan