Food Stamps, Part 2...

I remember when I got the letter than I technically had been working 13 years for- the letter of either acceptance or rejection from the University of Maryland.  Of course, I had to have my mother call the minute that the letter arrived.  There I was in debate, stealing quarters from the debate candy closet (see previous blog) and I was called to the phone.  Looking back- it all seems like Beverly Hills 90210, how did my mother have the number to the debate room's phone?  

It's funny how you find out that you are in college in October of your senior year...like I dont get the point of the rest of the school year?  My senior year was a series of dumb acts- Melissa dared me to take off my pants in AP History (I did it), going to house parties and drinking alcohol that were in bright pastel colors (seems thats not so normal), reading Cliff notes instead of the actual books.  Not sure who this Cliff character is- but he certainly had a smart idea.  Once I got into college, I quickly dropped out of my Honor Physics and Math courses...lets be honest, I was in, and I was not going to be a scientist or mathematician.  I switched right into "Volpe World."  Where the tests involved coloring and re-taking tests that you did badly on (using the same version of the previous failed test).  A retired non, Mrs. Volpe was perhaps the friendliest and dumbest teacher on earth.  We used to literally run into the class, sign in, and then proceed to run out the back entrance of the classroom.  Good Times.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.  Food Stamps.  I have to say that while I really learned a lot from applying for food stamps, I found the entire process very annoying.  So today, the second most important letter I would receive arrived- the decision regarding my food stamp situation. On a side note, the postage was only $0.34 cents- no wonder why the Postal Service is having a hard time, the government that runs it is stiffing them on postage.  Unlike my acceptance from years before, Daniel Friedman's "January 28th, 2009 request for food stamps...NOT APPROVED."  I appreciated how they took time to bold this decision.  My dreams of running through Whole Foods as if I was on Supermarket Sweep were over.  I could take the matter to the next level and request a fair hearing, but that involved a lot- and the office is not located near my apartment.  

Since the government didnt find me needy enough to warrant food stamps, I will stick to my weekly Chipotle lunches subsidized by my friend Sara.  A pound of beans, chicken, rice, lettuce topped off with an absurd amount of sour cream and cheese makes anyone forget about the lack of a job.  

Clean it up kids,

Dan